Five to Avoid

For every two good movies, there is a bad one.  Or so it seems...

In Theaters


Burlesque - During the first half hour or so of Burlesque, I was pleasantly swept up in its glittery fatuousness, but as the "plot" unfolded, I became more and more frustrated with the terrible writing and repetitive musical numbers.  Christina Aguilera is surprisingly good in her film debut, and Cher and Stanley Tucci turn in expectedly fine performances.  It's a matter of wasting a talented cast: it's all flash with no substance.

Love and Other Drugs - Similar to Burlesque, this is a case of big talent being wasted on bad material.  Love and Other Drugs is experiencing an identity crisis: is it a raunchy sex comedy, a drama about illness, or an unlikely romance?  From scene to scene, and sometimes within the same scene, it's all of these things, but without any sort of effective connective tissue.  Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway have great, visceral chemistry, but it's all for naught in this needlessly naughty romp.

On DVD


The Sorcerer's Apprentice - The latest take on the classic (?) tale has lots of dazzling special effects, but to no avail.  Nicolas Cage is in full-weird mode, but instead of harnessing it into a funny performance, a la Kick-Ass, he lets the bizarre behavior completely dictate the character, making it just another notch in his string of disappointments.  The story goes nowhere, the action is underwhelming, and the cast is a (bad) joke.

Eat Pray Love - Glee creator Ryan Murphy's globe-trotting romance is almost completely devoid of emotion.  Julia Roberts' face emotes just fine, but there's nothing behind the expressions.  The single bright spot comes with Richard Jenkins, who delivers expectedly great work as a lost, recovering soul.  Other pretty faces in the form of James Franco and Javier Bardem have little to offer beyond their good looks.

Shrek Forever After - This franchise should've ended two entries ago, and this tired rehash of It's a Wonderful Life almost makes you wonder how we ever loved the big green ogre and his fairy tale friends.  This is an example of old-school Dreamworks; that is, lots of pop culture references and licensed music, very little non-derivative humor.  It's a boring, bordering-on-depressing affair.